I'm going to be the best wife I can be going forward. I'm going to regret what I've done for the rest of my life. Kissing a man, I've just got into over the past couple years. I feel sorry for those with depression, mental illness, hangnails, bad hair, bad childhood memories, etc. But I do have to state it or I'm failing to do this role properly as well as my innate compulsion to be unwaveringly socially and morally responsible - meaning, if you don't want to respond, don't. Now that you got drunk, you feel justified in kissing that person because you got drunk and couldnt help yourself. A couple of nights ago I went out to a work function. All night I chatted and joked with a group of maybe 10 people, mostly women. Login first There's a difference between sex and kissing. Mercy got too drunk, Cintia was drunk but she was ok so far. Oh there really isn't any disagreement actually. ;-p My piano instructor came over once a week, usually on a Saturday when my husband was home. Team spirit is this: You came to your sences and stopped this from going any farther. I was devastated. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Already have an account? I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. Seriously. [1] you didn't foresee and avoid being in that predicament. You don't have control over these things. Oh, I see. (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). I rather throw it all out in the openbe honestapologize for my mistakeand be ready for the consequences. Years after my divorce the one thing that still makes me really angry is that my XH should have ended the marriage as thats what he wanted. Then I ordered taxis, woke up the other girl and we left. I've never gone to a counsellor before, but I'm going to see one next week to talk through it. I agree with you about her being straight forward and telling her husband about the kiss and not holding back any secrets. Well you need to figure that out and fast. If you want to know the why's, you're going to have to be willing to hear the darkest part of what makes me, ME. I merely stated from the above that lips are a part of foreplay. I felt disorientated. Hang on because I'm sure there will be other people who believe differently from me. This one by far has lasted the longest. In that sort of scenario, where the kiss (or any intimate contact) lingers for more than half a second - or, put more simply, isn't the kind you'd feel comfortable giving/receiving from your own parent or grandparent - it's an opening of the door, whether or not you subsequently recover your senses and slam it shut again. I have to admit that by kissing this guy whom I liked, I did cheat on my husband. ;-)) The marriage itself trying to keep his father and the community happy, and just get my husband to consider the rest of the job force he worked in and the many his wants would affect with UAW seniority for a big three auto plant. (SK, that award doesn't exist. / Dyathinkhesaurus? As I left, the boy who I kissed came with me and I tried my best to shrug him off. Answer (1 of 7): As you have not mentioned your gender, i am assuming you are a girl. "I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses." I wouldn't want to hear about it if I were in his position. It meant absolutely nothing what so ever but to me, I still class kissing someone else, no matter how long or short time, drunk or not, as cheating! Loyal Girl sorry to hear about your situation. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. I couldnt take it so I told him. The way I see things, there are innocent kisses, which occur when a person had too much to drink, and then there are guilty kisses, which are precipitated by getting drunk. Thank you. I cant trust you anymore., You think that having too much to drink made it all right for you to kiss ______? If your boyfriend still trusts you- then his faith in your fidelity moving forward should give you faith in yourself. I myself will have to comment tomorrow, now, although maybe SK and anyone else would like to join in in the meantime? Dont tell me now that youre in love with him.. That's a lot to take in. BTW lips are also very much a part of foreplay that's what I've read. Carl Jung said that if you're dreaming of a stranger of the opposite sex, it usually means your psyche is tapping into your inner man or inner woman. Can you tthan please explain this? I felt sick! That tells you that even if you think you are not showing any signs of being attracted to someone, peoples S/Os have a since of whats going on! You might come to the conclusion that something is lacking in your primary relationship, and you might decide to break up with your partner and pursue the person whom you kissed while drunk. .Houston, you and I have now strengthened our bond (whereby attention and affection follow) by together having conquered a potential crisis which can now longer be called a problem rather than a PAST godsend of a dual warning (not enough attention/affection worthy of marriage) merely in problematic clothing. It's not that big of a deal anyway and you aren't going to do it again. Well, then, let me enlighten you. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I was nervous and prayed nothing would happen but it did. Soulmate I guess as long as you stay at this site I'll find all of you. I certainly took full responsibility for my actions, and fortunately the guy I kissed also took responsibility for his actions. I totally regret my actions and cannot bear to tell my boyfriend. A certain someone might read it. She emailed him out of the Blue, and he proudly showed me both her smarmy email and his polite yet nonetheless "on yer bike!" I speak from experience when I say that when that intimacy starts to die, it can be the start of the end. Make lemonade out of them. Bad things happen.Yes.but wat i d recomnd u is NEVER EVER tell him ! Okay. Go to a therapist if you think it could help you work through why this has appealed so much. Not just, here's your marriage license good luck. Houston, we have a problem. But we can get through it together if you are truley remoreseful. get into counselling. female Jam, your wife holds the cards. But please seperate the issues. Look at your first kiss after divorce as a new beginning, a new chapter. I have never done anything like this before and truly would never again. You cheated. Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. But, I did find out that I was attracted to my piano teacher. Why? Apologize to your SO and tell him that you love him and only him. We've been together a lot of today for various reasons, we've talked a little but as of right now, officially I'm still "thinking things over." You already have internalized that part. Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. Certainly, that's what I myself meant and expected you to quote Bienne as more or less echoing. He's a work colleague by the way, and we would get on well in work but have no contact outside of work). I'm not condoning what I've done, and it's a totally different set of circumstances, but I remember wishing I had never known about the stupid kiss, as it tainted things for a while afterward. I think your just another female using your man until a better option comes along your husband should dump you because one of these days your going dump him if he doesnt. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! This guy wouldnt take money from me (I should have seen this as a Red Flag, but didnt), so I bought him opera scores in order to compensate him for his time and expertise. The first step to a broken loyalty is a first kiss. Amazing how long this subject has carried on. by Lucy Moore for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk It takes to heal the wounded trust again. We use cookies on our site to remember your preferences, monitor site traffic and offer personalised ads. (Ta-daaaa!) I hadn't been out drinking for about 3 months beforehand, so think the excitement of the night, constant glasses prosecco and wine, and the buzz of just being all dolled up all mixed together to see me very giddy and tipsy. If you were to act like the person you want or see yourself to be, what would you do? Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I dont know what else to do. He deserves the right to make the decision on whether he can forgive you and move on with you. And note, you don't HAVE to take my advice. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? It is the gateway to another feeling. In Jung's theory, the anima makes up the totality of the unconscious feminine psychological qualities that a man possesses and the animus the masculine ones possessed by a woman. (As you were), It happened to me,too last Jan.31,2016, and it happened again in the following days. I know he would forgive me but I don't want to deal with issue with him. Ashley Madison helped things along with extramarital affairs. I certainly wouldnt throw him under the bus -just yet. This of course over a year ago. You can keep quiet and resolve never to do this again. Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? I kissed another guy when drunk but can't remember?! There was a line that was crossed when they kissed, he should no longer have her as a Facebook friend, or any other communication with her. Guilt occurs primarily in interpersonal contexts and is considered a "pro-social" emotion because it helps you maintain good relations with others. What did she say? No, you don't. One way to alleviate guilt is by taking action. I had a kind of aha reaction because I realized I was attracted to him. When he finally called me up, he said that he needed to stay away from me, much as he enjoyed teaching me music, he felt that the next time we met, things could get even worse and he didnt want to destroy my marriage. Take it away, expand if you please! Kissing is the gateway to sex or part of sex. Such as crying,begging that would be enough for me to give them a second chance. Something like that changes almost everything in a marriage. Yes one should take care of themselves before getting drunk. Kissing someone other than your spouse is cheating. How Psychologically Conditioned Rats Are Defusing Landmines, The Innate Intelligence Observed in the Dying Process. I made that call today and will move from lates to early starting Monday 16th feb. After he gave me a drink we started kissing and I felt terrible.He then asked me to sleep with him. Go cold turkey. What are you going to do, then? My gf went to a house party and got really drunk, and apparently kissed a g My girlfriend got drunk and kissed another guy, 2 months later she got drunk and kissed a girl, HELP. So your crop had already been carrying a blight, hadn't it. I feel horrible. female He never says this so I knew it was something serious. I was correct, she struggles with trust. It sounds simple, but if you think you know how to apologize effectively, you are likely wrong. :-( Feel free to start a thread if you need to vent it all out.). Just my opinion. I'd be obsessed with it. reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): A Should I ask him for gas money? ;-) (Awlthough, dang naace trah, they-yer, at tryin-a git' me ter disclows mah gendah. It really depends on the dynamics of your relationship though. I wouldn't want him around the person. I'm not telling him because I don't want to mess this up. It's not the crime that counts, it's the time. I could list so many reasons why, but instead Ill just list a few. Actually I really don't have any experience at all. Because guilt typically occurs in "micro-bursts" of brief signals, we often underestimate the rather significant role it plays in our daily lives. I could go on about a lot of things here. What if they were married? Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. Since he felt there was an attraction with you two. female I went out for drinks in town last night and got extremely drunk and kissed another man, it only lasted not even a few seconds but I feel so so so guilty and wish I could take it back. Try to let it go and forgive yourself. Needing to hear this guy tell you it was OK- It was not OK. Guy Winch, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and author of Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts. "He's a great kisser" what she said to me. I'll inform the vicar, you cancel the cake, yeh? I'm trying - with the utmost seriousness and sincerity - to advise you to keep your relationship rap-sheet completely squeaky clean. I think my husband could maybe forgive the kiss, but the doubt would be there, he would wonder if this could happen again, and he would be so hurt. See "The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology"; you probably miss at least two of them when you apologize. So it looks as if we're suddenly at crossed-purposes, then. But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. Hello, TheBestAdvice: Im glad you thought my post was intelligent and that you could relate to it. You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. :p We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. And the tricky piece de resistance Houston, despite we started out as just friends, we now have PROOF that we have utilised a mechanism for cultivating love and respect, enough to now remain together til death do us part. 4. Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. Wouldn't you? You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): A Try-it-on, cheating sleazebag makes pass at loyally-married woman; I don't know why I need that so much, but I do. You might feel guilty about it the next day, but it wasnt a big deal. The caller wasn't experienced (like me). Im also pleased that you agreed with my argument as to when to fess up and when to keep your mouth shut. Mr S lived there once (San Fransisco), but he hasn't any urge to return, either. drunk, kissing. Three women and one guy went back. If you drink so much that you lose track of everything, then you already took the first step on a dangerous road. I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. I was so drunk, I barely remember the kiss, but I know it happened. If he is like me, its a choice. With or without the same seniority. Tl;dr: why do I feel guilty after ending things with a guy who grabbed my ass during our first kiss?
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